Sunday, September 26, 2021



It's often the angle of light
that dictates what I will see, what I will feel.

Early morning light through the trees
is soothing, thoughts familiar,
like faded Polaroid images sifted through,
tenderly recalled as we all seemed to get along.

Of course, she was there, guiding,
gently reminding us, "Sisters are a blessing",
something she never had.


Noon displays canopy's lace-like patterns
chaotically cavorting upon the lawn,
fallen chestnuts and twigs scattered;
her hand absent, mower silent.

Recall her last words, "Be kind to one another.
Get along."  Feel sad, see our disunity displayed
in speckled shadows battling for shape and form.

A walk around the yard still yields her presence; 
dancing rabbits, patriotic windmill, 
bronze sparrows balancing forever on bird-bath rim;
but her flowers wilt, and weeds have been mischievous 
even though it's only been a week.


The swing will be taken down,
lawn ornaments collected, re-homed,
but evening's light is stubborn,
almost biblical in its imprint
as trees' shadows are straight and narrow,

stretch earnestly toward myself;
bring to mind the importance of mercy,
of pathways offered.  I just need to settle in prayer,
listen for His voice, her voice.

Honor Mother's memory.

by Margaret Bednar, September 26, 2021

I lost my Mother suddenly at the end of last month.  She fell, broke her hip, had surgery.  The doctors said her bones looked great for her age of 91.  She might walk with a cane, they said.  Her concern was that a cane would interfere with her yard work.  However, a complication arose that caused her to pass away from us within a week's time.  We all know that no matter one's age, we are never prepared to lose our Mother.  I have two sisters.  I am the middle child.  Without going into detail, the older sister has created a bit of a "stir" (to put it mildly) and I am trying to come to terms with this.  

I stayed in my childhood home for a bit over two weeks. It was cathartic for me - I slept on my childhood bedroom... and sat in the kitchen that will always feel like Mother.   Fifty-five years ago they built the home and she gardened and raised all kinds of animals on our little farmette.  And not without a few tears, I said goodbye.  


indybev said...

My sympathies. It is so hard to lose a parent. It sounds as if she was quite active up o the very end. What a blessing. I lost my mother to Alzheimer's, and the long goodbye was torturous. Your poem is lovely. I hope the family mends.

Magaly Guerrero said...

My condolences, Margaret. Losing a parent is never easy. And when the loss is complicated by anyone (especially a sibling) stirring things up the grief can become exhausted. I think you are very wise (and kind) to keep your mother's words in mind. When relatives get difficult, it is best to remember that they share our blood. May your mother rest in peace.

dsnake1 said...

My condolences. It is always hard to lose a family member, especially a parent. But we will always remember them; some words, some artifacts, some small deed. and if they stay fondly in our hearts, that is enough.

Joel (@Stranded Tree) said...

I'm sorry for your loss and I hope that someday the healing can begin along with restoration. This was a moving story that reminded me of my father's passing nearly 14 years ago. I hope you and your sisters become what your mother wished.

Khaya Ronkainen said...

Your poem is moving, Margaret. My deepest condolences for the loss of your mother. As you say, no matter what age, we are never prepared to lose a parent. I wish you and your family strength, peace and love in this difficult time.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

You have written this so beautifully! I get a real sense of the home and garden, and her, as well as your sad farewell.

Yes, my mother's death was the most confronting moment of my life! (And we weren't even all that close.)

Sorry about the sister. People can get awfully weird around deaths. It is often a (vain!) attempt to cling on.

I'm glad you had the catharsis, and that you wrote about it and shared it with us. Wishing you all the best in the ongoing journey of grieving and coming to terms.

Helen said...

Margaret, you created a beautiful poem from a place of deep sadness .... poetry is incredibly cathartic, I feel your pain / loss. As the oldest of three daughters I also understand that dynamic when 'Mother' passes. It can be unpredictable and troubling ... hoping peace descends on everyone soon.
Take care,

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I lost my comment. You have written such a beautiful tribute to your mother, who sounds so wise and loving. It took me back to the months after losing my mother,some years back. It is hard to lose someone who was the bedrock of our being. It must have been sad to leave your childhood home and life as you have known it. I am thinking of you.

Debi Swim said...

"Recall her last words, "Be kind to one another.
Get along."

I told that to my kids as they were growing up. I wanted them to be friends forever. I think they are and will be. I'm so sorry for your loss.

phillip woodruff (jalopy dreams) said...

i am so sorry to hear about your mother, not an easy thing to deal with. this is a beautiful tribute to her. wishing you peace and solace in the coming days.

Cressida de Nova said...

Sincere condolences and prayers for you and your dear mother. May the perpetual light shine upon her for eternity....requiescat in pace Lovely poetic tribute to your mother Take care Margaret.

Yvonne Osborne said...

This is a beautiful post which really spoke to me. Having recently lost my mother in much the same way (the dammed fall that takes them down) I experienced all that you write about. All of it. Your mother was very wise and sounds like mine. "Be kind." I wish you well.
p.s. sisters are a blessing and my mother never had one either.

Rommy said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. You're right. You can never prepare for such a thing, and even if it comes late in life it will always feel like it was too soon. I hope you and your sisters can find a way through this with kindness and grace.

Magical Mystical Teacher said...

Saying goodbye to your mother is the hardest task in the world. Thank you for this poem. God bless you on your journey with sorrow.