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| image from google |
It's the chipping away, a brightness turning grey,
a youthful smile slowly fading away.
Once sparkling eyes sliding sideways,
tears, betrayal, dismay;
a future once bright, now turning grey.
Looking closely its hard to say
why, but closed doorways
convey a secret downplayed,
words spoken harshly, a mainstay
of vitriol, of hate, a parent's entree
of degradation. A child's eyes turning grey.
by Margaret Bednar, April 26, 2018
This is linked with "Imaginary Garden with Real Toads - Fashion Me Your Words - Fold Poem" We were to consider "Destructive Weapons" as a theme and verbal abuse instantly came to my mind...
The photo alone breaks my heart...
also with NaPoWriMo 2018
I invite you to listen to me read my poem:
why, but closed doorways
convey a secret downplayed,
words spoken harshly, a mainstay
of vitriol, of hate, a parent's entree
of degradation. A child's eyes turning grey.
by Margaret Bednar, April 26, 2018
This is linked with "Imaginary Garden with Real Toads - Fashion Me Your Words - Fold Poem" We were to consider "Destructive Weapons" as a theme and verbal abuse instantly came to my mind...
The photo alone breaks my heart...
also with NaPoWriMo 2018
I invite you to listen to me read my poem:
9 comments:
Margaret your echoes of woe are heartfelt. Luv it, deeply emotional piece.
NOW
1. As to form if you want to move AWAY from One verse i would have preferred a move to 2 verses rather than 3
One of the essential parts of The Fold is that Line 5, i like to call The Crease, [thinking about folding a piece of paper across]
SO
i welcome a structure of
L1 L2 L3 L4
L5 L6 L7 L8 L9 L10 L11
AND
2. At L11; i would have preferred the repeat to remain 'turning grey'
I WAS able to link you up, Didn't know i could but the link was accepted.
have a nice weekend
much love...
You certainly succeeded in conveying the devastating effect of that ultimate weapon.
So much destruction there.
If some parents only realized the destruction they cause with verbal abuse. It is so sad to witness the results.
You've described it well.
Oh the destruction of those words... I can only imagine that they are causing other things that will come later... and how it's passed through generations.
This is very sad. Too often we are not prepared, don't understand, don't know, have no idea. Parenting is a big job... one day, it may only be for only a few.
Verbal abuse is devastating - I remember the 'chipping away, a brightness turning grey'- mostly as a teenager.
Oh gosh this breaks my heart - a deeply poignant and reflective poem, Margaret!
This is so sad...To me, it's the same as murder...the killing of a child's spirit. Well penned!
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