Thursday, March 1, 2018

"Dear Father"




Dear Father,

I can't help but wonder of your thoughts
since you've journeyed so far.
Has it changed you; are you slow to anger,
slow to find fault?  Judge with a softer heart?

I'm curious the things you've learned,
assume you're finally willing to listen,
not caught up in rules you can't explain.

I'm truly joyous, imagining you embracing
such elation, blue eyes clear of disappointment,
perhaps seeing me for the first time.

I sound as if I'm criticizing,
but it's more a pleading, a youthful desire
still nestled deeply to be free of insecurities.

Perhaps it's not too late.
Until I too close my eyes for the last time,
know that you are now in my prayers.

It's a good place for us to start.

Your daughter,

Margaret Bednar, March 1, 2018


Linked up with "dVerse Poets Pub - Meeting the Bar - with a letter"

Also linked with "Imaginary Garden with Real Toads - "Dear" Poems"

22 comments:

Frank Hubeny said...

Being in one's prays in a good place to start. I liked these lines: "blue eyes clear of disappointment,
perhaps seeing me for the first time"

Grace said...

Goodness a moving letter. Hopefully he is where he is most happy and blessed. I think its never to late to start and improve on family relationships.

tonispencer said...

An incredibly touching and moving letter. To be truly seen with love and approval by a parent, to feel one has not loved up to their standards...heartbreaking. But the last stanza and line so fully speaks of love...anytime that is now is a good time and place to start acceptance and love and improve a relationship. Beautiful letter.

Truedessa said...

Keeping one in your prayers show the desire to connect beyond words. This is heartfelt and made me feel sad, yet hopeful.

brudberg said...

Oh I can truly understand the difficulty of writing this. I know that my sister must feel like this. I always had some approval (or absence of scorn) but it was harder for her...

Kim M. Russell said...

A difficult letter to write, but so moving. These lines reveal so much:
'I'm truly joyous, imagining you embracing
such elation, blue eyes clear of disappointment,
perhaps seeing me for the first time'
and
'know that you are now in my prayers.
It's a good place for us to start.'

Mary Hood said...

I too wrote a letter once to my father (not on dverse). So sad that clarity comes with the grave. Prayers are a good place, always!

Donna said...

Oh Margaret this is beautiful and so deeply heartfelt. It makes me want to write to my dad now deceased for 20 years....I believe the soul is always learning even when it leaves the body.

Donna@LivingFromHappiness

lynn__ said...

This very personal letter touches the heart. It seems you have forgiven him... and loving sentiment endures.

Mish said...

A beautiful expression of unconditional love and your willingness to never give up on the possibility of change. Maybe it's true, that our perspective changes when our souls pass on to another realm. Sadly, your words resonate deeply with me as well.

Unknown said...

Very touching and sad, love your poem
Mary (cactus haiku)

tonispencer said...

On second reading, I can find hope in it this time, along with the sadness, the prayers.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

This is very moving. One hopes that, after death, they see their lives with clarity. I imagine that causes some regret. I think they then look at us with newly awakened eyes.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Ah, how poignant!

Gillena Cox said...

To begin a new relationship in a prayerful phase is i think wise and loving. Surely his nlue eyes will be clear and easy now.
Such a soulful poem Margaret

Much🌼love

Sanaa Rizvi said...

This is so poignant. Sigh.. perhaps it's true, our perspective changes when our souls pass on to another realm.

Outlawyer said...

Certainly, a letter to your childhood self and your adult self as well as to your father, and one which many can relate to. Your honesty and wish for healing are very moving. Thanks. K.

Jim said...

This is a wonderful letter, Margaret. One that I can never write, not even to self now that Dad is gone. He never apologized for his treatment of me as a lad and I won't forgive him, wouldn't, until he acknowledged. If we meet in Heaven there may be a procedure there set up by the Great Arbitrator/Mediator to deal with such things. My hope.
..

Helen said...

My father died when I was sixteen ~ suddenly. I wish I had really "known" him. Good, bad, all. Your poem is lovely, sad, poignant, Margaret.

annell4 said...

A very good starting place, indeed.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Sometimes these rocky family relationships trouble a person more after the other has passed away. I am glad a sort of peace has descended for the speaker now.

Susie Clevenger said...

Oh, there is such pain in unresolved, but it sounds like you are finding peace, and praying peace for your father.