A Winter's Recipe
A soothing open fire, two devilish dimples,
three lavish splashes of hot buttered rum
and lips to whisper four feathered trails
along one's neck.
If flame smolders to embers,
isn't a slow burn preferable
to frenzied heat for roasting chestnuts
and other such... amusements?
by Margaret Bednar, March 12, 2018 (a reworked poem from 2013)
This is for "dVerse Poets Pub - Quadrille #52 - Let's Fire it Up" I was thinking "Monday Haibun" and wrote an original poem below borrowing a bit from a poem I wrote in 2013. I realize now it is Quadrille Monday and have reworked the poem above into 44 words - shortening the original. I have also include the poem below as that is what I spent my creative time on today.
Historic Biltmore Village, North Carolina
Here is the Haibun I accidentally wrote" and I'll also link with "Imaginary Garden with Real Toads - The Tuesday Platform"
Snow sprinkled sidewalks muffle our steps as we hold hands; something we should do more often. The quaint village has charmed us as if young lovers; something we should embrace more often. Up ahead a warm glow frolics against old brick buildings, beckoning and beguiling us forward. We extend our hands toward the smoldering fire, his two devilish dimples teasing me as I accept three lavish splashes of hot buttered rum, my insides now as warm as my hands while his lips whisper four (or more?) feathered trails alongside my neck. My head leans on his shoulder as we wait for chestnuts to roast, a delicacy we've never tried. I'm hypnotized by embers, oranges and reds, and soft popping nosies indicating roasting is complete... and a splash of butter and cinnamon for extra flavor.
Two devilish dimples and hot buttered rum chases away twilight's chill.
by Margaret Bednar, March 12, 2018
23 comments:
Oh, my. That first stanza is fantastically sensual. I love both versions, but there's just something about the compact power of a Quadrille, for me.
Whistles!!💖 This is incredibly hot and sensuous, Margaret!😍
I would think that slow burn is better.
Both versions are wonderful with their sensuality. I like both especially how you worked the haiku in.
What a delicious recipe of words you have created
Like your American Sentence Haiku portion, Margaret. A nice summary of what went before. Devilish dimples tempt give wiggly chills and goosebumps eyes closed urge to act.
..
That slow burn I think is the perfect winter recipe!
I do love both versions, but the concentrated version of the Quadrille really melts me just like that butter on chestnuts... I have never had them roasted on ember, but it's a delicacy for late autumns in front of the fireplace.
Both are delightful, but I really love what the form of the quadrille does to the piece. It distills the feeling into an intoxicating brew. Mmmmm!
I prefer the quadrille
Much🌼love
The haibun is charming, but I think the quadrille demonstrates how, with poetry, less is so often more – somehow it has become even more sensuous and enticing.
The slow burn sounds right.
I love both versions. I laughed when you said you "accidentally wrote a haibun"...only a poet makes these mistakes (always more- never less).
Back to these 2: the quadrille painted a lovely picture, while the haibun unfolded a more sensual picture. Love them both!
Beautifully sensuous...slow burn preferred if it's going to be like this.
This is so beautiful Margaret! Only good things can happen when you accidentally write a poem.
If flame smolders to embers,
isn't a slow burn preferable
to frenzied heat for roasting chestnuts
and other such... amusements?
Yes, why should one amuse oneself at the expense of others. Clever closing Marge!
Hank
I enjoyed both versions, Margaret, but I can really feel the condensed heat from the second one.
It takes a slow burn to endure such long, late nights! Well done.
This is delightful, romantic, sensual. Beautiful writing!
Luscious in both forms! Love the way you weave these sensuous tales!
Wow! This is delicious poetry, Margaret. I could smell those chestnuts sizzling. My mother made the best chestnut stuffing I ever tasted.
I enjoyed trying to guess which kind fire we were dealing with here and how you interlaced them. But now I want chestnuts, right out of the shells!
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