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| Prospect Park, NYC |
Hills undulate gently upon a greensward necklaced by chestnut, white poplar, and oak, where children's laughter and songbirds fill the air above Long Meadow; unheard by the jogger as he labors past, eyes focused straight ahead. Teenage boys toss a football, shirts inside-out instead of skins as wind's picking up and winter's a tease a way, fall's labor crunching beneath their tennis shoes. Silhouetted, the trees stand vulnerable, bare but for a few golden leaves unable to provide protection for a couple's final, farewell kiss.
The chestnut, poplar, and black oak brace for wind's bitter kiss
tastes of goodbye upon brittle, fallen leaves.
by Margaret Bednar, March 1, 2016
an excellent link explaining the true nature of a haiku... "A Philosophy of Haiku" and what I can understand of Haibun is a prose written paragraph in a "concise, imagistic haikai style and has one or more haiku after it... ?
.. not sure my paragraph is "haikai" in style but it is what it is :)
I have walked Prospect Park in Brooklyn a number of times and there is always so much to observe.
Linked with "dVerse - Haibun Monday #8"
also linked with "Imaginary Garden with Real Toads - The Tuesday Platform"
19 comments:
I love your prose.. The image of the trees and people, a winter clinging yet... and the bare branches leaving you unprotected from the sky
You've described the scene beautifully. Thanks so much for participating.
The ending is perfection.
The title hooked me. I like how the kiss is crafted within the story in the prose.
Wonderful treat for the senses, Margaret. I love the feel of those crunching leaves.
I admire the backdrop for that final kiss & that American Sentence haiku is stunning ~ Well done with the haibun Margaret ~
So very nice, Margaret. I'll come back to look at form mechanics later. I spent most of my time reminiscing about final kisses. Have had a few, several scenes for background. The one I'll always remember truly matched your "couple's final, farewell kiss." She was getting married the next day, we were celebrating, in a way, of sorts. It truly was goodbye.
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Love the image of the greensward being "necklaced" by trees.
With all the happenings around still it was not possible to stifle the farewell kiss from happening!
Hank
Excellent...I felt the chill, heard the crunch.
The final lines encapsulate the mood you have created in the prose section very well.
The prose sets the mood perfectly for what is coming. There is a sense of change and endings... with hopes for spring. And your last sentence digs deep into the heart.
Oh, MY. THIS:
"necklaced by chestnut, white poplar, and oak"
Just fantastic.
This is an awesome haibun
Much love...
This is an awesome haibun
Much love...
Oh, you've really got the feel of a crisp autumn day captured in this!
I think you did wonderfully Margaret! You took me there and I saw it clearly.
First green of Spring
Japanese Maple
Leaves
SpRing
against ice
blue sky
of warming
Southern breeze...
Inviting colors..
Life breathes
human bEinG..:)
Wonderfully done!
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