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| Courtesy Google Images - Selected by Tess Kincaid for Magpie Tales |
It taunts me still, falsely beckoning. "Free"
is a word I hardly remember. Plea
I do. I do scream for release.
I do beg for clarity and peace
from the past abuse, from his hurtful words.
I do try to forget, to move onwards
but the nightmare taunts me, suffocating
me with despair that haunts. Yes, altering
my mind. My mind once filled with love.
My mind still desires a world of
youthful hopes. His red chair still reproaches
my mind. I swear to burn it to ashes.
by Margaret Bednar, Art Happens 365, November 17, 2011
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This poem is for dVerse "Form for All" and it was a hard one! The form is "staccato"and it has two stanzas of six lines with the rhyming pattern a, a, b, b, c, c. Not so bad, but then there are internal line rhymes and syllable repeats... egads. Just click on the link to read further.
I attempted to link this poem with the "Magpie Tales" photo prompt. If you read my poem, I give you a pat on the back! This has NO bearing on me or my past... just a reaction to the photo and the restrictions of the "staccato". So no need to worry.
17 comments:
Hey--amazing that you managed two prompts at once. I love the free and plea. And very interesting juxtaposition and I think you manage the form extremely well as it doesn't seem to intrude on your content, but just uplift it with a kind of music. K.
Well, very good. each I've read tonight has carried a totally different theme; your's on abuse.
I like especially
I swear to burn it to ashes.
reminds me of Kim Addonizio's 'Red Dress' poem.
''they can bury me in that damn red dress''
very nice work.
nicely played to form margaret. your last two lines really make this for me...the chair haunting and the burning it to the ground...
Excellent construction. You stayed true to form only excepting you didn't use the exclamations and the next one I write I will do this too because for my voice, this is what seems natural. I really love the way you made it conversational and stayed on point as to form. Really well done.
Great take on the prompt and compelling storytelling.
No worries! great form!
practice makes for good experiences!
forms are what they are- poetry may pour into them:sometimes well-sometimes a Nightmare!
(I thought of an old one similar to this prompt, but didn't use it)
thanks.
Margaret- You did a fantastic job with the form.
Thanks for pointing out so kindly my omission of the repeat in the last line of each stanza on my WP site. Somehow I missed that part b/t Thanksgiving feasts at school, dance and Boy Scout pie in face night.
i like it. the angst and pain came thru very well.
nicely done , now go torch that chair!
I love how you didn't constrain yourself with the lines but flowed from one to the next. I think that really brings out the idea of "staccato"...something I think I kind of missed in my own. Well done!
Excellent use of the form. A bit of a variation there in the second stanza, which I love that sort of thing, and great job I must say. Also, combining the staccato with the image prompt- that is multitasking at its finest:) Really enjoyed, thanks
Hi Margaret,
"It taunts me still, falsely beckoning. "Free". "
What an insightful first line!
Although I did enjoy the poem, and as an exercise it is very good, in this case I would have preferred that it did not rhyme.
Wow! Impressive work Margaret .. I can't imagine tackling a difficult form like this one.
You did it! You used the internal rhyme, the three repeats and the structure to create a wonderful staccato poem. No, it isn't an easy form to pen. I love it and I'm so happy that you pushed through to cover all aspects. Bravo!
terrific write, and using the Magpie too!, I just couldn't wrap my head around the picture last week, enjoyed this
Nice imaginative reaction to the picture and use of the form
Very well done. It has a completely different feel than most of the other staccato poems. I'm sure this is due in part to the subject, but also because of how your carry over across lines. Really, really like this.
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