Titian tipped, flaxen wings
soar, dip, delicately tickle sky's blue -
Innocence sinks low in tall swaying grass,
mother fox freezes, sniffs the wind -
Crows cantankerously cry
as jarring black eyes demand withdrawal -
so I henna my heart with their essence
and follow the lake path home.
by Margaret Bednar, February 21, 2015
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| Artwork by W. T. Benda |
Linked previously for the challenge below, but now "re-listing" it for "Imaginary Garden with Real Toads - Artistic Interpretations - Art with Toril".
for "Imaginary Garden with Real Toads - Play it Again #14" I choose "Fireblossom Friday: Rhyme Royal & W. T. Benda". (archived from February 2014) I selected the option to write a free verse poem to the artwork of W.T. Benda.
23 comments:
I like the alliteration! And also the sweetness and normality of the last line after the earlier dramas of the natural world.
I love the way your dream in the first lines softly land in reality with that lines. To me this becomes a poem about our experience with nature.
"Henna my heart" ... loved your choice of words :-)
Ah, yes.. the last two lines hit their mark.
flitting life is so full of soaring and dipping...could feel life's vibration here...beautiful
I specially love this part:
so I henna my heart with their essence
and follow the lake path home.
Good one Margaret ~
you put a lot of movement in those few lines... lovely scene
I really like your closing couplet:
so I henna my heart with their essence
and follow the lake path home.
I think it's perfect, Margaret.
Wild and pretty.
I wonder. Should I replace "with essence". With "so I henna my heart with wildness and ....
Hmmm, wildness would work but I think I love 'their essence" more because their essence is more than just wildness- innocence, wariness, playfulness, etc.
Beautiful poem.
i henna my heart with them...love the animals you chose...some nice aliteration in there as well to give it some movement...
Awesome!
ZQ
well crafted ~
Oooh, I love the enchantment and your ending is ta-da magical~
Beautiful, Margaret and I love the idea of marking the heart with such beautiful delicate reminders of the awe that we encounter...lovely.
I liked it Margaret, after it made a meaning for me. I know your lines,
"so I henna my heart with their essence
and follow the lake path home."
are prime here but I had to get past the word, "henna". It may be a woman's word, I'll ask Mrs. Jim after she is awake.
Google Dictionary tells me, 'dye your hair with henna (a brownish red dye)', so,
"'Don't worry (get gray haired), be happy', 'look on their bright side',
and go home via the scenic path."
Did I get close? Read too much in? At any rate, it gives meaning to me that I can take home.
..
a cute one!!
My word, this is amazing poetry. The sound is intoxicating throughout, but this is my favorite line: "so I henna my heart with their essence"
Gorgeous imagery in those first two couplets. My tongue loves the alliteration in the third. And the final closes it out wonderfully.
Feeling these calls of nature, taking it into the blood ...oh yes!
Love the alliteration here (especially love the word "cantankerously"), but also the surprising depiction of a fox as 'innocent' since that is not typically what one puts together. Also, the imagery that comes to mind with 'henna my heart' is so lovely and so thought-provoking...really very creative. You are on a ROLL, Margaret :-)
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