Evening Moon through the trees |
I cling to evening's hem,
fingers entwined with heaven's blue -
a mantle I'm loathe to let go
lest I spiral wild into blackness
of twigs and branches
sharper than any tongue.
I plea forgiveness
as pink wanes gray,
garment's edge disappears -
silence descends
upon yew's upstretched arms
and like a savior,
knuckles moon's mystical murmurings
while I,
scratched and torn, face east,
await dawn's bald golden hue
to slip in with the tide,
for sea birds' spirituous song
to announce salvation's door,
and like a candle protected,
I will cease wavering,
Angelus warm upon my lips
while the bell tower tolls.
by Margaret Bednar, January 15, 2014
Morning over the lake |
I used all 14 words selected from Plath's poem, angling for a feeling of hope.
The images are not of the ocean nor of yew trees - but this is the best I could come up with on a moment's notice --- funny thing is, I took these photos last evening and this morning before I had read the prompt for this challenge.
25 comments:
The imagery is crystal clear throughout. The hopefulness of your words constitute the beauty of your verses.
-HA
Hi Margaret, what a warming trend here -- a new moon, yes (did you know that there two super new moons this month?), something brighter than the darkness Plath got lost in. How comforting to find faith at the end of this. Fine write.
Filled with sadness thinking of Sylvia's life, that I'm glad for the uplifting ending here!
"like a candle protected
I will cease wavering" - my favorite lines!
brilliant take on the prompt, Margaret! LOVE the opening line ~ your imagery is amazing!
♥
How beautiful, Margaret. Your opening lines drew me in and you sustained a Plath-like mood wonderfully. Wowzers, kiddo! Great write!
great opening lines.. and you managed to use so many of the words from the prompt...loved the way you weaved in an uplifting theme at the end...
I'd say you've answered the bell here with...well, bells on.
Wow, I loved this and how you interwove the words selected. Incredible.
I adore that ending about a candle protected, and I loved the hopeful mood.
You overachiever! :) Using all the words.. and an excellent job. As others have said I enjoyed the uplifting ending.
WoW!!!! you have done it! great:)
Sylvia usually does not inspire hope, but you have found it...beautiful Margaret
beautifully descriptive and i love
the last stanza.......
Amazing, Margaret! Well worth the challenge!
Beautiful poem. The day may end, but a new one is coming
I specially like the last stanza, very uplifting to read Margaret ~ I await for dawn's bald golden hue ~
I love the dichotomy you have created between the moon rise and the sunrise. Interesting how the narrator is drawn to the baldness of the sun's light over that of the moon.
"I cling to evening's hem,
fingers entwined with heaven's blue" -
those are beautiful words and images.
I prefer the addition of hope to your poem - a nice ending.
Well done dear Margaret… beautiful imagery in words and photos too! That opening stanza is beautiful and terrifying… like stepping into Sylvia Plath's troubled mind.
its a beautiful picture you took...the candle wavering line is a nice touch...and i like the play between the sun/moon night/dawn
Nice poem. I am feeling the hope. Thanks for sharing.
There is one thing for certain, Margaret, no matter how bad the day there is another coming, UNLESS. I am sorry Plath didn't wait but was encouraging that your poet looked forward with hope for that new day.
You did really great using all of those words. I was in a box and he yew trees just wouldn't fit. BTW, we have two yew trees on the street side of our garage.
..
This is lovely, Margaret. A sense of calm, peace came over me as I read the last stanza.
felt very 19th century to me, like Thomas Hardy or Stephen Crane, Margaret - a return to nature, but not a lament so much as a venture, a questioning. ~
This is absolutely beautiful. I love the hope you've provided with Plath's words. How ironically wonderful that your photo matched the prompt so well.
Post a Comment