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| Image from Google - Auguste Rodin "The Kiss" |
The Kiss Endured
Pleasure fills my mind
to the point of pure madness
tickling, teasing me
Your delicate touch desired
my true thoughts hidden
as I endure my spouse's kiss
by Margaret Bednar, Art Happens 365, November 3, 2011
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This is FICTION guys... (fyi :) and also a response to a poetry challenge from "dVerse - Form For All" Man'yoshu was explained and hosted by Jane Kohut-Bartels (Lady Nyo). There are three basic divisions of this style of poetry and the one we were to focus on was "Somon", which is mutual exchanges of love or longing poetry. I chose to do a "Choka" 5,7,5,7,5,7 which is one of the longer versions (six lines).
I'm not so sure how well I did, but click on the link to see everyone else's attempts! And give it a try yourself - it is fun.
19 comments:
endure my spouses kisses...hmmmm that can be taken several ways....
Love play in the springtime of love! Well written; you took me there. This is fun, isn't it? So glad you came by and linked.
oh lordy!
Point of pure madness, that's the fun part :).
I hear a play on the common theme mentioned by Lady Nyo in her introduction to Man’yoshu poetry, "repeated interest in ‘the wife of another’ was an object of male desire."
I think you played this piece quite well. lovely!
RMP... I think you are the only one that got that while she is kissing her husband, she is longing for another. I guess I didn't quite succeed with this.
Everyone, thanks for the comments! It always makes my day. :)
Margaret, I 'got' it. "Endured" was the key! Her mind was elsewhere.
oo la who is it you see behind those eyes...ha...ok i know its fiction...well spun...smiles.
Fantasies are very good for you--a very nice take on the prompt.
Endure is like a beacon...I love it! One I won't forget!
Well done!
very kool. a kiss with eyes on another. I believe you captured this form superbly. An enjoyable, inspiring read.
oh oh - wondering if the husband also has some phantasies behind his closed eyes...smiles...well spun..and glad it's fiction..
Whoa! 'Endure' sounds too painful for comfort?!
Jinsky... It isn't her husbands embrace she is yearning for.. I couldn't find a better two syllable word than "endure" for "put up with"...
Oh, ouch! I love poetry with a surprising bite at the end. Glad it's fiction. :)
so glad to hear it's fiction! a wonderful example of the Man'yoshu form ~ you told the story subtly which heightened the impact. love it!
dani
how creative,
wow, you are blazing a trial here.
:)
Thank you. I thought this was a real fun prompt.
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