Sunday, July 14, 2013

dVerse Poetics "Keep Holy the Sabbath"


Keep Holy the Sabbath

Beneath Sunday's siren sun,
I squat, grip, heave, throw,
ignore scratchy hay 
between shirt, dirt, sweat.

Zombi-like follow row upon row,
squat, grip, heave, throw.
Makeup long gone, hair undone,
plastered wet, sigh relief

as baling machine
belches, sputters, jams,
twine spins, bales abort, distorted.
Wearily lean into truck's shade,

watch as he unbuttons, slips off shirt,
wipes brow, whistles low
(was that him or me?)
leans my way
(no, that's wishful thinking)
leans into breeze,
runs hand through my hair -
(I'm getting dizzy) his hair,

for the first time recall "Keep Holy
the Sabbath", quickly bow head,
thank God for the Glory
which stands before me,
(did I say that out loud?)
flush when our eyes meet,
and as if on cue, engine revs -
I squat, grip, heave, throw.

by Margaret Bednar, July 14, 2013



This is for dVerse Poetics - is this a pub or a mirage? Hop on over and see how the summer heat is interpreted by the other poets!

Grammar Heads .... my line (was that him or me?) - should it be "was that he or I"  I looked it up, but the more explanations I read, the more confused I got!  If you don't know - well that makes me feel good :)

19 comments:

pandamoniumcat said...

That is a very hot steamy summer scene. Very nicely penned.

Claudia said...

whew... now after a day of haying all sorts of things can happen in our mind...smiles... reminded me a bit of when i used to help my aunt with the hay.. it's a beast of work but loved it as a kid.. and there was a little lake close by the field where i jumped in for a little swim with my cousins in the breaks

Brian Miller said...

smiles...takes a lot of discipline to restrain those thoughts at times...and wrestle them into submission...then again the sabbath is made for rest &---something our culture has def gotten away from...

Laurie Kolp said...


Sounds hot... in more ways than one.


..."him or me" is correct in that position.

Björn said...

Quite a hot mirage there ,,, and a thought were might not be too good to linger. I liked the smell of farms and hay in your poetry.. I biked yesterday through the summer landscape and that smell I really feel in your poem

Mary said...

Ha, you have definitely injected HEAT into this poem, Margaret. Loved its (not so) subtlety!

TexWisGirl said...

like that!!

findingtimetowrite said...

Wheee, that was a hot one! Thank you for making me really smile this lazy family day... a winning combination of sly and shy.

kkkkaty said...

Reminiscent of parts of my childhood...minus the man, of course...I could smell the farm! Nice

grapeling said...

d-a-a-a-a-a-a-n-g, Margaret!

Vagabonde said...

I like your two country pictures – they were taken in the fall, no? or your trees are prematurely brown. I read your poem, but I am afraid to say I did not understand it. I can speak pretty good English, but sometimes poetry eludes me.

Margaret said...

The first stanzas is the physical process of along hay. The old fashioned way of hay baler and people picking hay up and loading it upon a truck. It is very repetitive hard work and usually a hot sun. I spent many a summer with blisters upon my hands and scratches on my body from the hay. It never failed the baler or truck would break down. The poem challenge was to incorporate a mirage like image (mine speaking thought possibly outloud). Thanks Vagabond. I'm sure I often am not clear. That's why I keep practicing. :)

Margaret said...

Not "along" hay in the first sentence. "baling hay"

LaTonya Baldwin said...

Oh, you rose to the challenge, Missy. Enjoyed. Many mistakenly say "I" when it should be "me". If you both are the subject, use nominative case, "I" prepositions require objective case, "me." So it's between you and me, but My husband and I were in Paris. Comparisons, I'm fuzzy on. I likely look it up too. But "between you and I" irks me and I'm a casual grammarian who learned more about Enlish when I actually took Latin.

girlwiththepen1118 said...

J wholeheartedly believe and know that Heavenly Father sees all kinds of necessary work just as holy! You've portrayed the beauty of Adam, of dressing [taking care of] of our own plot of soil; of living in this grace! Brilliant piece! Applause dear friend !

girlwiththepen1118 said...

J wholeheartedly believe and know that Heavenly Father sees all kinds of necessary work just as holy! You've portrayed the beauty of Adam, of dressing [taking care of] of our own plot of soil; of living in this grace! Brilliant piece! Applause dear friend !

Outlawyer said...

Very cool....errr...hot. I think you have the grammar right! This is Karin, Manicddaily. K.

Mama Zen said...

Gorgeous write, Margaret!

Ginnie said...

You are such a romantic, Margaret...something I love about you and the way you write. And as to your grammar question, by now even I don't know...or care in this situation. They taught me in my linguistics studies that usage determines grammar and not the other way around. So there! :)