 |
| Spring, 1935 by Kuzma Petrov-Vodin |
She craved acceptance,
longed to be squeezed, pressed
like a good luck charm,
worn but needed.
He placed her on a pedestal,
dared not touch
lest his shortcomings
be revealed.
Happily ever after
forever a dream.
by Margaret Bednar, April 14, 2013
The image above is the weekly challenge fro The Mag 164.
The image below is for Imaginary Garden with Real Toad's: Sunday Challenge Joaquin Sorolla, a triolet poem and a continuation of the above theme.
If you are interested in finding out more about this painter, HERE is a brief description from the Art Institute of Chicago Catalogue of Painters (March 12, 1911) and also linked with IGWRT's Open Link Monday.
 |
| Idyll, Javea, 1900 by Joaquin Sorolla |
How like a charm she longed to be,
Accepted, loved, a need timeworn.
A pedestal, placed her did he,
but like a charm she longed to be!
He lived in dread his faults she'd see
And dared not touch for fear she'd scorn.
How like a charm she longed to be,
Accepted, loved, a need timeworn.
by Margaret Bednar, April 15, 2013
28 comments:
I love both ~ fascinating how changing the form creates a different response.
Both of these contain the longing of a woman to be adored for the person she is, more than the ideal a potential lover may want her to be.
Oh my, I really liked them both, and the second picture so related, quite inspiring, I just got mine in too!
I prefer the directness of the first piece. You have some splendid word choices and line breaks there, and they have more room to breathe.
These are just gorgeous I love the way you use language
These are both fine. Oops, sorry! SHE is. HE certainly isn't.
Both the poems are gem ... loved the longing in them !!!
I have to admit to a dislike for that first painting--and a corresponding like for your poem about it that really zeros in on the stiffness and artificiality of the poses. I do love the Sorolla you chose, and the triolet, though--it just sings, and seems somehow to make the sadness more intense. Thanks, Margaret for making the challenge, despite the scourge of real life. ;_)
The prompt picture for the Mag seems somehow lifeless. Your poems certainly aren't.
"a need timeworn" yes, timeless.
Beautifully done, Margaret.
I'm struck by the difference in the two painters' depiction of two young people, perhaps a result of their countries' differing climates.
K
"dared not touch
lest his shortcomings
be revealed."
how we all want to be accepted... even when we are, we don't always believe it... or accept ourselves fully.
What a beautiful poem on longing. Each verse illuminates the art so nicely.
Two well crafted poems about the need to be loved as a woman and not as an ornament to serve a man's pride,,,
Wonderful interpretations, Margaret. And in keeping with the pedestal's nature.
I liked your contrast with the charm which is meant to be worn and adored while the pedestal perch is fragile and isolated.
..
Lovely swap around. We are often cowards with our emotions, preferring safety to adventure.
'squeezed and pressed' ?
Bit too redolent of orange juice for comfort, but I liked the delicacy of the second one, in the lines
'How like a charm she longed to be,
Accepted, loved, a need timeworn.'
I like the first one better.and its very well crafted.melancholy, but beautiful.
Love the good luck charm idea!
all these fellows who do not allow far ANY personal space Ever- Phew- it makes me squirm! (although I do recall the heat of first love and all that wen with it!)
Both powerful, the first really sings off the page. And the topic is sad... a pair who cannot truly release selves and connect with one another.
Love your take, particularly these lines:
longed to be squeezed, pressed
like a good luck charm,
worn but needed.
I really like what you've done here, the two treatments of the same idea, and vocab. Really cool concept, and a great way to learn and teach about our craft. (Well, ONE of your crafts!)
Both of these flow so beautifully. We hold so much longing in and often don't speak our need. You commented about my recent work..I lost my mother-in-law April 5th and the circumstances of it have me broken and angry. I am trying to write my way through it.
Two for the price of one...and he still doesn't know how to just be human?! Poor guy.
Well done...I especially like the couplet form of the first piece...
Wonderful !, seems there is more to this than meets the eye
I really connected with the woman in your poems. She wanted someone to love her for her faults as well as her strengths but he could only see his fantasy. So sad.
Beautifully written... I enjoyed both very much!
i like the longing to be like a charm
Evaporate until you Lenticulate
Post a Comment