At the Top of my Twentieth Year
by William Bednar
With a trim and a slick
And a tie with a clip,
I imagine my boyhood is gone.
With my father's straight razor,
A new navy blazer,
I guess that it's time to move on.
No more sleeping all day
'Neath a tree in the wood,
Though the forest remembers my name.
With my black polished shoes
And a note from the blues
I am off to find fortune and fame.
On this third of November
Remember, remember
The top of my twentieth year.
It's an air changing season
With plenty of reason
To stand up and conquer your fear.
And the forest remembers
Her old childhood members
E'en when they are searching for fame.
With a new navy blazer,
My father's straight razor,
I'm off to make fortune my name.
This is linked to the challenge for Imaginary Garden with Real Toad's "Hello/Goodbye". I think this says goodbye and hello quite wonderfully and leaves this mom with a tear in her eye.
I have been swamped with the kids end of school activities/trips/shows (etc) and will be posting a few of my sons poetry over the next few weeks if I can find some that fit to specific challenges :) This one I thought worked quite well.
16 comments:
oh, they grow up too fast! really nice!
Margaret, this is fantastic!
He has his mom's wonderful way with words.
The poem works fine with the challenge. It's lilting, like a song, with great repetition as he says a longing goodbye to things he still loves and looks forward with some excitement too. I like his choice of detail. I do wish he would/could come into the Garden and read other poets' works as well, though. He's a great poet, and might be interested in and have interesting comments on the poetry here.
Thanks, Susan. I know Will read yesterday's comments and will also read these. He is planning on commenting to thank everyone here, but I know he doesn't have time to blog... he is a sophomore in college and his schedule is very demanding (plus he needs to study... are you reading this Will?) He was just in "Twelfth Night" and "Monkey's Paw" and he was only getting a few hours sleep a night.
I used to fear he would give up writing, but I realize now it is like breathing to him ...
Awesome, perfectly awesome!!! Your Will is a handsome young man.
This is wonderful....I have a son ~ only 12 right now, but I will be sad when he finally grows up and needs to use a razor
A straight razor — wow!
It's a perfect poem for the challenge, and he is without doubt a poet in his own right. (My fingers wanted to type "write" there.)
I hope we will hear from him again soon.
K
They grow up...your son speaking on his own coming of age reminds my of my girls. They often speak of the moment they realized it was time to put away childish things.
A neat and telling poem. :)
Oh, just saw a movie made of "Twelfth Night" with Ben Kingsley and Helena Bonham Carter, to name a few.
Margaret, your kids are MAD creative. I once told Riley, "To give a child a love of words is giving her the wings of birds," and this applies to boys as well.
Finally, the picture is super. You are truly blessed as a mom and as a poet! Amy
Love the picture!! And the poem is wonderful. Saying good-bye to childhood and hello to adulthood is no small thing! It is so wonderful that your son shares is poetry with you!
It worked super well, Margaret. You have such attractive and talented children, and so nice that they participate with you. You are deservedly proud both of yourself and them. k.
Wonderful hello/good-bye. He's quite the poet.
so tenderhearted when you look back, but thrilling as you see the present and possibilities ahead. A wonderful read, rhyming and collection of thoughts ~ congratulations to your gentle spirit son--like his beautiful mom! Faithfully Debbie
I'd have a tear in my eye, too! Splendid!
I love this! So smooth!
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