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| Photo courtesy of Jaime Clark |
Through glass eyes
unwaveringly
I see you.
My heart cold,
no longer green with envy.
Songless, I let go.
by Margaret Bednar
This is for Imaginary Garden with Real Toad's "A Mini-Challenge for Sunday - Extreme Close-Up. The photography was provided by Jamie Clark and I also used her title for the photo as my inspiration for a poem (Thanks, Jaimie, hope you don't mind.)
The "marching orders" also consisted of writing a Shadorma: a poem in six lines, using a syllabic count of 3-5-3-3-7-5 per line. And, lucky me, no rhyming.
Katydid's are easily heard, but not usually seen. They "sing" to each other by rubbing their forewings together.
12 comments:
Killer last line!
songless! wah.
bonus points for a five-syllable word :)
This really took me by surprise! It is such an original take on the picture: my cold heart no longer green with envy!
We thought this was a katydid but later discovered it was some kind of long-headed grasshopper - not one we have commonly seen.
You really pair up words with image so they become one here, Margaret. And the end result is both sad and evocative.
This is brilliant. Way to write a shadorma. Love the last line extra-much!
Beautiful!
So beautifully sad...a broken heart song sang in six lines.
You found it to be wanting? Good take! But you will have to find that song again.
Using the green of the katydid (grasshopper?) as the shade of jealous, great. Last line was a killer. Great addition to the prompt! Peace, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/08/26/screwed-over-again-a-shadorma/
Great job...I love how you tied in green with envy :D
Very clever!
Very lovely -- shadoma is a new one to me.
Amazing lines !!!
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