Thursday, August 30, 2012

dVerse "Form For All: On Tritinas "Lovely SaRa


Lovely SaRa

Lean on me, swing in my arms,
I'll listen, cry, be there for you.
A lifetime of sharing

secretive giggles, hearts sharing
womanly futures.  My smile, my arms
listless now, so far removed from you,

lovely SaRa.   I cherish you,
your spunk, your thoughtful sharing
ways.  About my heart, your arms

I'll always feel, comforting, supporting, sharing.

by Margaret Bednar, Art Happens 365, August 30, 2012


This is my attempt to write a Tritina for dVerse "Form For All".  The endings did not have to rhyme, but the end words had to follow this pattern:  A B C /  C A B  /  B C A.  Not sure sharing was the best word to choose to make this poem run smoothly, but I ran out of time.  I will attempt this again as I think it gives a poem a lyrical quality (read the others I have linked as mine is just OK).

I have always wanted to write a poem about these two, my daughter on the left, a BFF on her right.  They have known each other since 5th grade and are two lovely young ladies pursuing their dreams far apart now.  But as some girls tend to be, they are friends for life... It is the greatest treasure in the whole world.

23 comments:

TexWisGirl said...

precious girls. i hope they will be friends always.

Mary said...

What a beautiful tritina. You worked the form well. Both the words and the photographs make me smile. They are each so VERY fortunate to have a lifetime friend!

Elise Ann Wormuth said...

I love the pictures, and the poem enhances them so well :)

Brian Miller said...

smiles...i think it is lovely...a lovely wish and a lovely young lady...and friends like that are a rare treasure...

manicddaily said...

I think the form works well for you, but know what you mean - not so pleased with mine either! On the other hand - those two girls there - friends - look pretty great. k.

Claudia said...

so much worth having a friend like that when even the distance can't harm their friendship...lovely job on the form and lovely, lovely pics.. they're both beautyful...smiles

sreeja harikrishnan said...

beautiful poem...it is more beautiful for those young ladies and their friendship.......enjoyed...

John (@bookdreamer) said...

Pictures and words match the nood of each

Green Speck said...

Very beautifully written ... too good for a first attempt :-)

Daydreamertoo said...

Can't beat having a friend for life. Sometimes they become our sisters in a way. The poem is lovely and reflects their shared friendship perfectly. They look soooo happy! :)

SaraV said...

So precious, I really love that photo of them twirling together, you caught the swirls and joy just right. I could write a poem on the bliss that just bounces off that photo. The poem was very lyrical, just like a song. Really enjoyed it--especially since my name is Sara :-)

Teresa said...

I think this is wonderful. I'm sure they will both cherish the photos and the poetry. You've really captured the bond between them.

Mama Zen said...

Friendship like that is so precious. Lovely piece, Margaret!

Victoria said...

You made it in time for the prompt! What a great theme you chose. Both the photo and poem just create a feeling of well-being. So good.

poetryinverse said...

Beautiful poem and well done on the prompt! I love the photography!

kaykuala said...

Beautiful friends! Wishing them the best of relations and hopes for the future! Nice write Marge!

Hank

Semaphore said...

These moments, these girls, this poem is so amazingly precious. No symbols, no iconography, just the projection of joy in the moment and a joy that can transcend distance and time.

Ginny Brannan said...

Aw Margaret, you know I love your poetry and images, and this did not disappoint. Great first triton. Nicely penned!

Ginny Brannan said...

Oops, that would be "tritina"--darn auto spell correct!!

hedgewitch said...

I thought the cadence of the poem caught the motion of the top picture really well--the feel of two close and loving friends, interlinked and dancing, with that invisible support that love provides. Liked this much, Margaret.

RMP said...

beautiful. I think you captured their bond quite well in this piece. I like the idea that distance cannot stop the feel of the other's arms, "About my heart, your arms"

mike ribeiro said...

Both are looking gorgeous in the picture, you need to some changes for making the poem lyrical. you need make flow in the poem, every word should have connected to other word,.

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Ginnie said...

I'm guessing they will treasure this rendering for years...for ever!