Saturday, December 17, 2011

d'Verse "Silver Lining"

Olive Hue Designs  for dVerse "Out the Sketchbook"
Silver Lining

A ratty red dress
makes everything right

as it wraps about me warm;

a mother's embrace.

I have many streets
and miles to travel

With my pretty red dress,
I don't feel alone.

Some have money
and buy their days happy,
carry enormous umbrellas

keeping rain and grey at bay.

But with arms outstretched
I thank the downpour
for the joy that is mine is for free
from an old alley box, dented and dirty.

A gift I found at the end of the rainbow.

A ratty red dress
makes everything right.

Margaret Bednar, Art Happens 365, December 17, 2011

* * * * *

This is for dVerse "Out the Sketchbook".   Please help me with a dilemma:

My son (home from college) thinks this poem should be entitled "Buy Her Day Happy".     My son says Ratty Red Dress makes him think of a dirty prostitute and "The Police" ... (the Roxanne song)   He likes "Buy Her Day Happy" because it is "colloquial", it is so incorrect it is beautiful - she CAN'T ever "buy her day happy", so finding this red dress gives her the ability to pretend and escape the reality of the situation...  (I think he just summed up my poem in a phrase! :) and it escapes the beaten to death, hyperbolic, overused CLICHE of "the red dress".

OK, that's enough, my son has ranted enough... ( he is a passionate poet, can't you tell?)

Which do you like better?  (and it is OK to agree with me! :)

I liked "Ratty Red Dress", but around 12:30 got up from bed and changed it to "Silver Lining".  It means a hopeful or comforting prospect in the midst of difficulty. (a comment from "Morning" got me thinking along this line)


19 comments:

Brian Miller said...

how am i supposed to disagree with the man who likes my poem? smiles...i feel contentedness in her...in a good way and i like that...like that you hearkened it to a mothers embrace as well...

Mary said...

Ah, maybe the two of you need to keep thinking. There may be yet a third option out there. If you say "ratty," that to me gives a negative connotation, and in another stanza you say that the dress is pretty; so this seems contradictory. And, thinking of your son's title, it does not seem that she has bought the dress (did she not find it?. Like I said, perhaps there is a third option, but I did like the poem...and yes, there is a lot of joy that is for free!

Margaret said...

Thanks Brian. I like that she is happy, though her life certainly isn't envied by most...

Mary, thanks. Yes the dress IS ratty, but to her it is pretty. (she is homeless).

I will keep searching for a title... Thanks! :)

Morning said...

it seems like the red dress gives her everything to move on and continue her journey,

very focused write, powerful imagery.

Margaret said...

Morning! You gave me an idea... "Silver Lining" - she found something hopeful and comforting in the midst of her difficulties. :)

Grace said...

I like how that ratty red dress makes her warm, like a mother's embrace. I like your son's title. I guess I like a positive spin to the post.

Happy day ~

Will "Never Grow Up" said...

Titling the poem "Buy Her Day Happy", is a way to show the silver lining, without saying "Silver Lining"

Quotes,Photos and a little Poetry said...

The Joy that is mine is Free. Amen, to that. well written.

Margaret said...

Will... Are you going to hound me until I change the title? Ha. I am still thinking about it...

Thanks Grace, I'm sure my son approves!

Quotes, thanks.

Claudia said...

the best things in life are for free...and that's the essence you capture so well with your words here..smiles about the conversation with your son..

Ann's Art said...

Think I'll sit on the fence and agree with both!

kaykuala said...

It is good as it is! 'For free' is a good motivator anywhere at all!

John (@bookdreamer) said...

You see how debate can move a poem on!

George said...

Quite wonderful, Margaret. I hope you still have your ratty red dress.

Mama Zen said...

I really love this one, Margaret!

TexWisGirl said...

first, love that image. it made me happy just to see her. second, i like your son's title. :)

zongrik said...

the concept that the dress was a gift at the end of the rainbow is cool, it just about explains why she's in the rain

Margaret said...

zongrik - I was wondering if anyone would get that :)

Thanks, I think the artist is very imaginative and it is well worth checking out the link to her blog. I ended up titling it "Silver Lining" and my son has let me knows he disagrees! :)

Anonymous said...

"ratty red dress" is my favorite line

~Shawna
(rosemarymint.wordpress.com)