Monday, January 17, 2011

Hand in Hand, a Poem, 107/365

Painting by Helen Eaton of Word Weaver Art

The above is a painting by Helen of Word Weaver Art.   Please visit her blog and etsy shop.  This was submitted to the monthly challenge "In the Moment".  The January challenge word is "unsullied" and even though I wasn't able to work the word into my poem I was able to use this photo for another challenge.

I used the inspiration for One Stop Poetry's - Monday 17th challenge.  A Villanelle poem - or sort of.  It has a certain count and beat and rhyming scheme.  - which I don't think I was exactly successful with...  To see some good examples, you should check out One Stops blog (click above in blue).

I found it very difficult not to make this sound like a bad greeting card...  I want critiques - I would love to work on more of these.  Obviously, two great lines (and easy rhyming words!) are helpful to begin with.

Hand in Hand

Fingers clasped, palms together
Made of the same sweet design
We can face all kinds of weather

Special gift to one another
You are dear, sister of mine
Fingers clasped, palms together

Some call you "little mother"
My eyes simply see "divine"
We can face all kinds of weather

You encourage constant blather
And offer a safe lead line
Fingers clasped, palms together

I can be quite a bother
From your lips never a whine
We can face all kinds of weather

Protector like no other
Our hearts will always intertwine
Fingers clasped, palms together
We can face all kinds of weather

by Margaret Bednar

Sisters - I like to think that they have each other to turn to for their whole lives.  The above poem was written from a younger sister's point of view.  A big sister is a recipient of a bit of "hero" worship for a while, I think.  But then, as they grow older, the playing field evens out and they are truly a source of comfort and guidance for each other.


Anonymous said...

Very Good!

Helen said...

Margaret, This is simply lovely...
I love the many levels of meaning that "fingers clasped, palms together" conveys and that it's repeated.
I love the image that "my eyes simply see 'divine'" brings.
I love that it's spoken through adult thoughts but from the little one's point of view. (I am the "little sister," and your poem wants me to give my big sisters a call.)
I am honored that my humble painting was a bit of the inspiration for your lovely words.

Margaret Bednar said...

booguloo - Thank you, very kind.

Helen - And I thank you! I left a message on your blog, so I won't repeat myself here. I do hope you DID call you sister though. :)

Vagabonde said...

This is very sweet. My two daughters are great support to each other. I wish I had had a sister – I would have liked that. I have a cousin (second cousin) in France and she is like a sister, but she does not have a computer, so I am not in contact with her very often. Margaret you are welcome to paint the dove that landed on top of our bird feeder, the last picture on my current post. If you do, I’d like to see it when you are finished.

Claudia said...

i think you were doing quite good with the form margaret. well done for a first attempt. i also like the topic you choose - the togetherness - the hand in hand - beautiful. thanks so much for linking up with one stop.
..regarding the rhymes - if you would like to have a detailed feedback, you could mail me or leave a comment at one stop - but i just realize i don't manage to comment on all entries in detail..were more than expected..wich is fantastic in a way :=)

Helen said...

I posted a "Sisters" entry on my blog so that I could celebrate your poem. I hope you're pleased! Enjoy!