In Remembrance
Damp and dreary today dawns, settles 'round my shoulders with a weary sigh. Mo(u)rning mists my glasses as I shuffle through leaves fast becoming grey; contemplate life slipping away silently without fanfare. No trumpet call, no pretentiousness; just color ebbing, leaving behind something once vibrantly splendid. Even the lake's silvery stillness indulges my mood, reflects an egret's gliding grace; angelic white wings soothing as a sweetly sung southern hymn. Canoes stacked, red, blue, green upon yellow, almost garish, hunker down for winter's bite yet able to yearn for spring's gentle caress and summer's bold laughter - but not these leaves. They must dissolve into the earth from which the came. I pick one up. Pocket it. Hesitant to let go. Find myself looking back, remembering the glory that was.
A thousand todays I've walked, yet yesterday's greying bloom lingers.
by Margaret Bednar, February 19, 2018
An English haiku is usually 17 syllables (three lines with syllables 5-7-5) but some websites say it should be less in order for it to be tighter and more similar to a Japanese haiku. I aim for about 17 - the Japanese haiku aren't always strict to their syllable count so I give myself a bit of leeway as well. It should hint at at season and usually the topic is love. I prefer to write it all in one line, not three, like the Japanese do.
I believe sorrow is best dealt with taking one day at a time and eventually becomes a bit comforting if we let it - the memories hopefully bring a smile to one's face instead of tears.
This poem is dedicated to Galen Haynes (aka G-Man) who passed away in December 2014. I miss this intelligent and generously kind man's presence here in the blogging world. I wrote this poem back in 2014, but I did tweak it a bit today: added the grey reference which I think works well along with a few other minor changes, changed the format to a haibun, and added my (as always) feeble attempt at a haiku.
This is linked with "dVerse Poets Pub Haibun Monday - The beauty & the misery of grey"
13 comments:
A lovely tribute to Galen. The haiku is so special. I like that you write it in a single line. I have see stones in Japanese cemeteries where the haiku are written vertically on one long stone. Beautiful..
This is a wonderful tribute to someone you remember with fondness. It is through the words of those that are left behind that he still lives.
Without fanfare would be a welcomed peace. There's still too much of it I observe, making me think it's me or my karma to contend with. I didn't know G-Man but I love that you made such a genuine connection with a fellow writer, one with the grace of the egret, it seems. And lovely haiku. (And six children, God bless you! Nice to meet you, by the way.)
I liked the haiku with the lingering bloom.
Unable to let go of the leaf struck a chord. I like the explanation and presentation of the haiku. I didn't know Japanese haiku do not always adhere to the 5-7-5 rule.
I love the opening sentence, Margaret: 'Damp and dreary today dawns, settles 'round my shoulders with a weary sigh, and the 'color ebbing, leaving behind something once vibrantly splendid'. I also like the single line haiku, which lends a different shape to the haibun.
I love this! Yes, we will walk a thousand days...and yesterday's greying bloom will linger.
I did not know the G-man of whom you speak, but this is such a lovely tribute, I'm sure somewhere he is offering silent applause! The single-line haiku is very effective as well. Bravo
Powerful and poignant tribute full of rich meaning.
The grey worked so well in this... the way you describe the passing and that unwillingness to let go, yet that hope of spring is there. Wonderful writing.
a very beautiful hakiu, never seen it written like this and love the beauty in your words. remembering someone means they have created such lovely memories together than can never be forgotten. I like that line holding on to the leaf and hesitant to let go. like holding on to all the beautiful memories.
It's time to grab your hand, feel the sky
upon our shoulders, hear the sea
rush towards our toes and BREATH -
learn to love all that is me.
That's the way to keep things going, to playfully 'force' the issue and enjoy each each other's company!
Hank
Gorgeous in descriptive language. I especially like..." Even the lake's silvery stillness indulges my mood, reflects an egret's gliding grace; angelic white wings soothing as a sweetly sung southern hymn." The grey of the leaves against the vivid canoe colours brought forth the contrast of life and death with a comforting thought of life renewed.
Sorry for this late response.
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