Monday, June 1, 2015

Undaunted


Undaunted

Broad-winged hawks cartwheel and dive 'til caught
by chosen mate.  They spiral down, a hymn,
it seems, whistles upon mountain air; God
and prayer shimmer and shine.  No clouds dim
their joy.  I stand beneath mighty wing's shade
for a brief flutter and feel blessed.  There goes
spirits free of guilt, of burden.  Glazed
with honesty and true righteousness; flaws
not apparent at this distance.  'Tis lies
I've lived - that one will sink like heavy stones
in disrepair if unwilling to dye
one's soul to conform to tenor and tone
of what others think.  Hence forth, I'll stretch 'n yawn;
greet each day with courage, no longer a pawn.

by Margaret Bednar, June 1, 2015

Of course, humans are more than just instinct, or so I believe.  And as a Catholic have had my share of guilt... but as a Christian, I believe once forgiven we need to let "it" go. Soar in blessed grace and to follow what we know of truth...  which is a life long journey - one full of many voices - and a true challenge to listen to very few of them :)

I've taken quiet a poetic break - just busy with family and life - but I have missed my blogging friends and those who partake of the many awesome challenges of the "Imaginary Garden of Real Toads".

And I'm swooping back in with quite a difficult challenge - a "Bout-Rimes" (which is French and means rhymed ends).   The ending words are pre-selected.  We have been given leeway to use homophones or slant rhymes to the original list and I did accept that offer.  The original order and words are:

caught, him, got, dim, shade, goes, glade, flows, lies, stone, dies, tone, lawn, gone.

I tried to "resemble" a sonnet in style - but played loosely with word count and iambs a bit... Hey, I'm a bit rusty.

Flip on over and see the wonderful efforts of fellow poets:  "Imaginary Garden with Real Toads - Sunday Challenge Bout-Rimes"

14 comments:

Sanaa Rizvi said...

Loved how you end this beautiful sonnet :D
The closing lines are etched in my memory!

Lots of love,
Sanaa

Vandana Sharma said...

To err is human and to fogive is human too :)

Gail said...

You wrote rather wonderfully, I think.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I felt the deep reflective tone of this, and loved the observation of the birds........"no clouds dim their joy." Loved this.

Kerry O'Connor said...

I think you have captured the sonnet style very well. I love the description of this very individual bird.

R.K. Garon said...

That was awesome!
ZQ

brudberg said...

I like how you avoided the death that was almost prescribed by the word (be it a toad or a doe) the changes in rhymes and homophones made it even more yours.. I do not like counting syllables either, but usually it comes out as iambs anyway ;-)

debispoems said...

They spiral down, a hymn,
it seems, whistles upon mountain air; God
and prayer shimmer and shine.... Oh, I love that - beautiful.
Lovely job with the words and deep introspection.

Outlawyer said...

You have been super busy! I am glad that your son seems to have found a corner of NY he likes. I lived in Brooklyn for years, but in Williamsburgh--long time ago now.

Your poem works very well--I really like the way you've changed the end words and the religious feel of it all. Thanks. K.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

I liked your variations to the end words — and a style that suited your profound or 'weighty' thoughts! (Smile)

grapeling said...

nice to read you again, Margaret ~

Helen said...

Dear Margaret,
Love the creative way you incorporated Bjorn's word list into your lovely poem. (And thank you for the sweet comment, I have also stepped way back from writing .. it felt good sitting down, being creative.)

Hannah said...

Powerful in delivery and closing. Excellent, Margaret!

Jinksy said...

You played cleverly with the alternative end rhymes. :-)