Transformed
Lonely, sad, misunderstood,
I stand, silhouetted,
waiting for a glimpse
of your face.
Often I'm wrapped within
wooly shawl, sometimes
shoulders bared
to summer's soft breeze.
By nature I'm impatient,
driven, jealous
of everything, everyone,
but you gentle me.
A pendant about my neck
shimmers your likeness
a yin to my yang -
and I'm transformed.
by Margaret Bednar, August 21, 2013
This is for Imaginary Garden with Real Toads "Out of Standard" Blue Moon Special - the twist: the poem must NOT contain any concepts of night or sky (or night sky) and replacing with adjectives will be CHEATING and will incur a heavy fine.
Moonstone & Emerald Necklace HERE.
Also for Friday Flash 55 , and dVerse "Getting Tight (in here)
56 comments:
nice...i like how the totem of them brings you peace as you wait to see their face....there are some nice spiritual allusions in that too...smiles
hey can i use one of your 55s for an article i am going?
Is be thrilled. :)
... I'd. (All thumbs today). Thanks Brian.
Beautiful,and quite unique. Loved the interplay and the transformation!
Love this! You've certainly risen to the challenge as beautifully as last night's moon.
Wow, this is a fantastic response to the prompt. It shows me the possibilities. I got stuck on the limitations but you showed me there are none!
Wow! That moonstone necklace is fabulous (my kind of jewelry), and I love the tranquility which is promised in your words.
Transformed from "lonely, sad, misunderstood" is great; transformed from "impatient, driven, jealous" is fantastic.
And the moonstone necklace as talisman is perfect.
K
a poignant homage, Margaret
Wonderful creative way to take the moon prompt! Very nice.
Your words are always so beautiful, Margaret.
Thank you for sharing them here!
I melted as I read your poem today .. melted.
I so like the words "you gentle me".
this reads almost like a lullabye, the flow is easy and a little sad, a little gentle....all stunning! You really embraced this challenge. I too liked the line "you gentle me". well done and viva la
Beautiful.."you gentle me" I feel like that also when standing in the moonlight.
I love the lyrical notes of your poem~
I too love, "you gentle me" :D
Hi Margaret! It really made me smile to see you at my blog, I literally had just been thinking about you yesterday-- "I need to get over and see what Margaret's been up to" :-) Love that necklace, and that word gentled is one of my favorites. Also you succeeded so well with your poem--I actually re-read it because I was sure a night sky word was in it
:-)
awww. lovely, like an embrace. maybe that wooly shawl makes me feel that way :)
A very beautiful and transformative poem (for dVerse). Love the yin to yang!
everyone seems to write about the moon today...smiles... i like his soothing gaze as well...the most wonderful way to calm me down...
That is a lovely transformation of emotions and of nature. Tender and gentle write.
oh how I loved this..short writes sometimes really do have so much compact tight emotion, this is a fine example of this style done well.
What a lovely transformation that only real love can do. I love the cadence in the verse, a gentleness that bring forth the love.
I felt myself falling into your words. So beautifully written.
Nice tension in the middle - feeling the anxiety, the rise of jealousy and the peace and serenity of the moon in a necklace is a perfect denouement.
I love this, Margaret... especially:
Often I'm wrapped within
wooly shawl, sometimes
shoulders bared
to summer's soft breeze
I love the calming effect of the moon~ this is a great write for all of the prompts!
I like the gentle lilt & transformation by the moon ~ Stunning picture as always Margaret ~
This feels more of a love poem to that special someone, and it took me a moment (and a re-read) to piece it together for the "moon!" Beautifully written. Especially like
"A pendant about my neck
shimmers your likeness
a yin to my yang -
and I'm transformed."
The yin and yang reference is just lovely. Well done.
"You gentle me." That's genius! I loved it .
Late for one prompt, but right on time for the other one! ;_) Great job here, Margaret, and that necklace is just stunning. I see why they call it moonstone.
Beautiful. Loved the moon as pendant. You set the scene so perfectly that I never realized you hadn't mentioned night until I read your note.
Margaret Bednar...
You are the consummate Romantic.
It's just your naturally beautiful soul shining through.
Loved your Moonstruck 55
Thanks for playing, thanks for your wonderful support, and have a Kick Ass Week-End
calm descends upon me here, thank you!
Beautiful scene here, some very lovely lines. Excellent!
I feel connected to the moon ( no I did not write that).. and I felt connected to your words. Ying to my yang - beautiful - well penned- thank you.
There's a softness and whimsy that I really love in this Margaret. And the photo is sublime.
All the words previously used in comments are saying it all...a marvelous work of art!
A gorgeous poem, a lovely read today.
There's a melodic voice that brings to mind a wave of forces-- heavenly and earthly yet, it doesn't shake but cradles me... loved every allusion!
shimmers your likeness
a yin to my yang -
and I'm transformed.
The balance of the universe and the balance of man and woman.
Beautiful poem! :)
Some of us do indeed stand before the moon like an altar.
Hopefully, his positive influence will permanently dispel her negative self image. Nicely written.
Hopefully, his positive influence will permanently dispel her negative self image. Nicely written.
The soft tones of fears wrapped to sleep. wonderful!
so liked the wooly shawl
Love the phrase "You gentle me." This was beautiful, and if anyone would like to buy me that necklace, I wouldn't complain!
The moon works her special magic on us all. I really like the yin/yang reference. Some beautiful descriptive phrases here too Margaret. And the picture is lovely.
What they ^ all said, and my own: perfectly lovely 55!
So beautiful your words and the photo. I love the moon, and it's true, just watching it is tranformative.
...a real gentle read with a meditative feel... loved the stillness here.... smiles...
The moon has that special connection. And rightly with the yin/yang balance the moon exudes a nice feel to mankind, within that peaceful scenario. Nice 55 Marge!
Hank
Beautiful, gentle, peaceful - thanks for a soothing read Margaret.
That is all one can look for a gentle yin and yang. Gentle is
God isn't He...with moonlight.
"You gentle me," that use of gentle was a verb... perfect for this, as though your wild streak is tamed by her lovely face. Simple scrumptious, Margaret, and thanks for commenting on my take. Looks like a song is forthcoming... Amy
Amazing how well you get the night sky across without actually saying it.
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