Little Traverse Bay
I plunder her beauty
in search of secrets.
She reflects my image:
face flushed with the rising sun,
splashing, humming, exploring.
If only I'd keep the me she sees,
I wouldn't need a six-sided weathered memento,
uprooted from her protective embrace,
instead I'd store promise internally,
nurture, polish, and appreciate
the imperfect preciousness of me.
by Margaret Bednar, August 30, 2013
This is for dVerse "Meeting the Bar - Give it to Me One More Time (Do it Over Again)" I used a prosaic poem I wrote August, 1, 2012 (below):
Little Traverse Bay, Michigan
She reflects my image, but I don't see myself; I'm in search of her secrets, some of which lie glistening, imperfect gemstones beneath my feet. Chillness laps my toes, my fingers, as I plunder her beauty, like a tourist in search of six-sided mementos to nurture, lest I forget. Forget serenity. Forget to enjoy the moment. Forget to step off the path and get wet. Forget to greet the rising sun and breath it in as it slips beyond the western shore. Six months from now when I pause and hold a part of her in my hand, I hope I will finally see myself.
by Margaret Bednar, August 1, 2012
A little bit about the Petoskey Stone: HERE
This is about my 500th poem since I have started writing poetry - my first poem was October 18, 2010. Of course, many are not worth re-reading (let alone reading once), but I have enjoyed the journey and thank those who have followed even a part of it!
"Just My Poetry" is an archive of all my poetry - and can be found on my sidebar.
22 comments:
cool margaret, i like the verse you got out of your prose...a thought that came to me because you want to grab the reader right up front and an easy way to do that would be to open with
I plunder her beauty, in search of secrets...
both of which i like, but together work like fire and dynamite..to me at least...smiles.
Love the suggestion. Off to use it now.
very cool edit margaret - i like both versions but the poetry edit is def. much more crisp and sharp
beautiful marriage of nature and introspection here, the poem version especially is gorgeous, a pleasure to read (and reread)...
I love both but the poetry version grabs me more. I could picture myself in this.
I'm happy you went with a piece of prose to create a poem. It's a fun thing to do. Something I've used with my edited-out work. Also, I love that you used your horse for the dVerse photo. Clever lady, Margaret.
I really like what you did. This is beautiful and what a gorgeous photo as well. Congrats on 500!
Ah! the succinct beauty in the poetic piece, so sharp and focussed!
Beautifully done! Both are great. It gives great satisfaction to put in that extra! Nicely Marge!
Hank
This is high quality revising, smooth as silk and worthy of the reader! I only hesitated once, and I think it might have been a slow down you wanted to cause: The word "precious" in your final line. My mind filled in "preciousness" but your diction opens some ambiguity.
Susan ... Great point. I think I was going for "twist" of the word - but not sure I should Preciousness would be grammatically correct I believe. I will give tis some thought. Thanks!
I love what you did with it, Margaret. It's really pretty.
I loved both versions and yet, the overhauling demonstrates a new season within yourself and not so much of the river~ I wholeheartedly enjoyed both!
Congrats on 500! I love your poem and you taking a moment to recognize the before you and potential you moving forward! Yes, we must be brave and continue to swim in all the layers of life~ Beautiful!
It IS all about the journey.
These are 2 of your best. Very interesting how you made 2 the same, yet quite different.
Michigan is a place on my list to see indeed. And maybe bring a piece of me away when I leave.
miss you, and great to be back here!!
xoxoxo
I am sure the journey was pleasurable and in the process you have written poetry from the heart.
I like what you have done here.
I like this very much. We are always so critical of ourselves. The treasure you find is you!
While I prefer the poetic version, it is interesting to read the two together. Both well done.
Introspective... Just delightful.. And Margaret I'd like to add that indeed there is an absolute and definite polished preciousness in you..... Perfect or imperfect, it shines so beautifully with about everything you have ever written... good job...
Read this again, Margaret, and of course, got even more out of it. I think many of us identify with a place (or even places).
First, many congratulations on your poetic journey! Good work! Keep it up!
Secondly, wouldn't it be nice if we were like sea glass or a gnarled branch - or able to see ourselves like that, rather - very cool thought. Thanks much, Margaret; I will be thinking of it. K.
I love the way you made the water subtlety take the place of your soul.
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