Friday, June 14, 2013

dVerse Form for All - Rondel "Dark Sentinels"


Dark Sentinels

The raven's rock
is often sought, dark sentinels
these ravens, squawk
visions, this night form of the hawk
tells truth to those who seek their ills
and hidden thoughts - symbol all's well
this raven's rock.

by Margaret Bednar, June 14, 2013 (corrected 6-14-2013: added line 4 and changed slightly to better follow the form of a Rondel -)

The raven is often heard to cackle utterances that sound like "cras cras", which in Latin, means tomorrow.  This helps the legend that the raven was able to foretell the future and reveal omens and signs.  It was also believed by the Indians that a person's hidden fears could be revealed by a Raven.

This is for "dVerse - Form for All - Rondel" which is a VERY hard poetry format and we were given the go ahead to play a bit with the format.  For a detailed explanation of what a rondel is, click on the link.

In doing research for this post, the host had a hard time finding traditional examples that followed the rules.  It seems that "back in the day" this form wasn't very popular.  Hence, the leniency for which I am very grateful.

I will hesitantly link this up with Imaginary Garden with Real Toad's - Artistic Interpretation - Cowboy Poetry (hosted by ME).  The image is Merri Melde's photography for her website "The Equestrian Vagabond".   And her horse BLOG of the same name.    This poem is not traditional "cowboy poetry" but it does deal with the west and a western symbol - the Raven, which is often seen as a symbol of death, not light, as Native Americans believed.



19 comments:

kelvin s.m. said...

...ravens & blackbirds are good companions when i play mythical sleuth in days i chase for dark muses... i prefer them at times more than the other birds for they wear the truth in their feathered night skin... plain & still... ha... loved your rondelet...only one thing, you missed a line... it should be 7 in overall count...& you had 6... smiles...

Susie Clevenger said...

Love how you used crows to be sentinels. I feel they do know secrets or steal them. :)

Margaret said...

I double and triple checked. And still missed something. I will try and correct it. Thank you for pointing it out.

Björn said...

In the old Nordic mythology the ravens are mainly wise birds. Odin has two that tells him the news what happens in the world. The raven is also a bird of war. I really liked your piece.

Poet Laundry said...

Ravens are intriguing...something dark and mysterious about them. I enjoyed the process notes too. Tightly woven Margaret.

kaykuala said...

Somehow ravens are considered as a bringer of bad tidings common with some others' opinion here. It may have to do with their 'squawk' that gives an eerie feel. It may have to do with their color unlike others more colorful birds. Nicely Marge!

Hank

Claudia said...

very cool on the latin background here margaret...ravens are fantastic creatures...they always give me a little shiver in their dark beauty..

rumoursofrhyme said...

Hi Margaret,
As Kelvin has pointed out, you are 1 line short of a rondelet (a rondel is a sifferent type of poem; we might bring that to the Pub in the future). The missing line should come after the second occurrence of the refrain and should rhyme with it.

But here's the thing; what you have is a fine poem, and I wouldn't change it if it were mine. Of course, it's up to you... smiles

Brian Miller said...

other than writing a different form, you did well margaret...the celts linked ravens and battle...wonder if the native americans got it from them, thus passing it on to cowboys...

Other Mary said...

Oh, great rondel - I like the way you made it your own. Also like the background info on the raven. I didn't know that, thanks! I love the feel of this Margaret.

manicddaily said...

Hey Margaret - there is a cowboy aspect here for sure and you've used the form very effectively. It is lovely that your dark sentinels signal all's well. Thanks. k.

Margaret said...

Thank you all for your comments. I have added a line to my rondel (raven) poem and now it IS 7 instead of 6. I whipped this out last night at 11:45 to meet the deadline (not exactly the best way to create quality poetry...

Helen said...

Forgot to mention how much I enjoyed the Cowboy Poets video you included in the challenge ...

Kay L. Davies said...

So intertwined with the stories of the west, the raven is a symbol of so much.
K

Heaven said...

I like the refrain, the raven's rock
~ A lot of symbolism here Margaret ~Tells truth to those who seek their ills- resonated with me ~

Have a good week Margaret ~



Brian Miller said...

i like the new line you added to make it a rondelet....the addition of the hawk now pairs nicely with the raven....

and dont sweat it...left you a note at dverse...happens to the best of us...smiles...

Vanessa V Kilmer said...

I like the result you got. I found it difficult, too. Your adjustments were great.

Patricia A. McGoldrick said...

The ravens and rocks are captured so well in this poem format.

Fireblossom said...

Ravens are special to me, as they are my totem animal. I like your rondel.