You are Invited
Attraction is half the game.
If I want you to stay,
I must offer more than scraps.
Smokey glances, berry lips
deliver the invitation, but
attraction is half the game,
our hearts' desires neatly hidden;
both leery of dejection, but
if I want you to stay
I must tiptoe quietly, leave
a trail of crumbs. Perhaps someday
I will offer more than scraps.
by Margaret Bednar, February 10, 2013
This is for Imaginary Garden with Real Toads - Sunday Mini-Challenge - a cascade poem - each line of the first stanza is used as the last line in the subsequent stanzas. Click on link to get a better description. I almost followed the rules, but I did change the wording a bit in the very last line of the last stanza.
This started off about blue birds and trying to create an environment conducive for them to stay (see above link). However, this poem took on a life of its own and became more about the "cat & mouse" game women (and men) often play...
I was at my kitchen sink and saw FIVE blue birds in the feeder at one time. Of course, by the time I grabbed my good camera, they had flitted away. If I had more time, I would have used a tri-pod as these are blurry. The top one I took with my iPhone... and it is blurry too. This time of year, I look into my wooded area behind my house and see a whole bunch of blue birds flying about the naked trees. I love it.
14 comments:
love that bath scene of goldfinch, bluebird and siskins, all sharing. :)
Thanks... I didn't know the names of the others! :)
I want a bluebird in my garden too! What a gorgeous sight. I love the two layers of meaning in your poem - so cleverly done.
I am imagining water cascading from that birdbath ... lovely poetry, Margaret.
"Attraction is half the game.
If I want you to stay,
I must offer more than scraps." - Wow !!!
Love the shot of the three birds together in the bird bath....funny how they are all looking in different directions as if the others are not there....
Very meaningful poem....
You did a great job with this Margaret. I like that you altered the words a bit--I almost always do. It makes the poem more alive and personal, though there are times to stick to the letter of a form; I never want my challenges to be that constricting. I like how you kept things short and visual here, and the initial three lines are reinforced and layered in the following stanzas. And, I love bluebirds! I saw three last week--which is a rare sighting for me, as they don't seem to like mingling with all the riffraff that comes to my feeders. (I'm the only one in miles with feeders, so I get a pretty boisterous crowd, from blackbirds and sparrows to doves and crows, etc. and they are a bit shy.) Thanks so much for playing, Margaret. I really enjoyed this.
What gorgeous captures!
Like Hedge, I like the way you altered the words. I think it makes it feel more natural.
I just love you last stanza!
That is the first bluebird I ever saw.....how gorgeous. You have interesting birds at your feeder - we have a ton of junkos, some blue jays, sparrows and crows.........but it's rare to see other types. We do get a LOT of hummingbirds tho, all spring and summer.
i would flip if even ONE bluebird showed up in my yard. lucky duck!
Such beautiful words and photos. The bluebird is Missouri's state bird. After my father died one came and kept pecking at my window until I pulled back the curtain to see what it was...the next day there was a pair male/female on the fence facing my back door. I believe they were sent by my mom and dad to let me know they were together again and they were alright.
love the poem and the birds... wow... so colorful!
I would love to be invited to share your crumbs, Margaret! :)
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