A Weary Passenger
The moment he walks through the door, I know
arousal isn't always sexual,
more often it partners with animosity;
a cumulus cloud gathering force
with every perceived injustice.
Uninhibited alcohol fuels this jet,
instability hovers, careens into
violence, cumulonimbus like.
I dare not look toward his thunder,
knowing it will dissipate quickly,
beg forgiveness of me,
a weary passenger.
I try and soar above, ride out
another night, another flight.
Hope my eyes will witness
morning's slivered moon,
gentle light, proof I survived.
by Margaret Bednar, Art Happens 365, July 7, 2012
Check this out on Chirbit
This is for dVerse Poetics" Whatever the Weather - hosted by Stu Mcpherson. Many choices were given for us to use "weather" and I chose one that uses it metaphorically. I fear my attempt is a bit weak, but I know that if you follow the link, you will find many fine pieces of poetry that do this challenge justice!
I am experimenting with recording my poetry. In the middle of this, you can hear my children trying to be quiet. I glanced over after saying the word "sexual" and almost lost it as my 10 year old daughter mouthed "yuck". ha ha
AND!!! Most importantly, I must put a disclaimer here for my sweet husband's sake :) This is totally in response to the challenge and photo... not any personal experience on my part.
17 comments:
oh, my. i don't think your attempt is weak whatsoever. strikes a chord.
I like how the poem turns on the fulcrum of uninhibited alcohol and instability, the whole piece sits together well good write/read
Great metaphors here. Hot tempers and she is the scapegoat for his mood.
I smiled at your 10 year old going 'yuck' remembering Chloe was just like that at that age too.LOL Nice reading out loud too. :)
Nice use of the weather to describe his character ~ I like the riding out the storms in one's life ~
I enjoyed the reading too ~
Great share ~
Difficult indeed when the weather inside one's home is stormy!
This isn't weak at all! On the contrary!... It is a perfect take on the prompt!.... Love how you captured the passengers mood in terms of thunder - it reminded me of a flight I just took- 12 hrs o south Korea next to THE drunkest guy....now that was a long ass flight....but I survived ....same as the charachter in this great poem. Also...great to hear your voice!!!
ugh....great opening...in the arousal and animosity....and then add alcohol to the mix...that could be some rough weather to ride out for sure....hope you see morning...smiles..
No fun to be the passenger on another's emotional joyride. A lot of tension, nicely resolved in the final lines, and I think many of us have been there.
oh heck..this is a great use of weather elements to describe him...so tough..felt write...and it's not an easy survival
Enjoyed...nice..and the red picture on top of the blog is ......I have no words to say it...can I paint it?
i am glad it is fictional and it is nice to imagine your family around you as you write. =)
You did a great job of capturing the tension. Really good write, Margaret.
Glad for the disclaimer, but sad that this illustrates way too many women's truth. Powerful!
Thank you, everyone!
And Sreeja - I LOVE it when artists paint my photographs. I just ask that you let me know when you are done so I can highlight it here on my blog :)
Glad this was not biographical. Your kids sound so cute and normal.
The poem is so real. I love how you responded to this prompt. Living with alcoholism is dreadful. (Don't know firsthand either, but have worked with people who are alcoholic, have a few in my family too.) This poem touched me.
I love both the disclaimer and the 10-year-old's "yuck." How can you not love that! :)
:) I'm glad all of you had more to say than "Yuck".
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