Friday, March 16, 2012

IGWRT's - A Word with Laurie - "Wounded"

From LIFE Archives
Wounded

Tunnel vision
created a monster
of intolerant self-absorption,

so I hitched a ride
upon parallel track
heading the opposite direction

fleeing, hating, blaming

never pausing to witness
my own trail of destruction.

by Margaret Bednar, Art Happens 365, March 16, 2012

This is for Imaginary Garden with Real Toads "Perspective".  The challenge is to write a poem with depth and emotion around a distant center - with NO commentary.  The point, if I understand it properly, is to see what other people read into / get out of a poems words.


20 comments:

Kay L. Davies said...

Ooh, you're trying to make me THINK here, Margaret. So...the last two lines really change the perspective of the speaker, not just "oops" but "uh-oh" in the best possible interpretation of "uh-oh".
I like it.
K

Kerry O'Connor said...

What a wonderful image you found for this post - interesting perspectives suggested there.

Your words focus on individual perspective and how our own range of vision may be obscured by our selfish needs.

Laurie Kolp said...

Margaret- I think the key here is heading the opposite direction... and the final line says it all. Thank you.

Mary said...

Hmmm, it doesn't sound to me like either track leads to a good place. Have to find yet a third!

Margaret said...

Thank you, everyone! Yes, Mary - that is exactly what I was trying to convey. :)

Mama Zen said...

That first stanza really speaks to me!

Other Mary said...

I like the way you say so much with so little.

hedgewitch said...

An excellent take on the prompt and on an amazing image--the tunnel almost looks as if it's drawing aside the folds of a theater curtain, putting your reflections on the larger stage, the personality described in the first stanza no longer the center.

Susie Clevenger said...

To me this is teen rebellion...whatever the cause of the hurt a teen will run in the opposite direction of adult suggestion...hell bent and self centered.

Herotomost said...

Ohhhh Snap!!!!! Damn, that was as good as you could explain that situation in a poem. I even said ouch out loud at the end....both times I read it. Really good.

Hannah said...

Ultimate ending... loneliness. Such strong words throughout building a powerful poem. I like how you've broken it up, also.

Margaret said...

Thank you, everyone. This has been fun to NOT explain what I meant and see what others see in it.

hedgewitch - I agree with you - that was my first thought - maybe I should have written it in somehow.

Hannah - yes, anger often does leave one lonely.

zongrik said...

i like the concept of tunnel vision

anything but

Daydreamertoo said...

Rebellion, can sometimes have good or bad consequences too, eh?
Nicely done form of perspective.

turtlememoir said...

ooh, you're writing my story again, Margaret - I love this take on the Laurie's perspective prompt, with the final couplet giving one pause...

Fireblossom said...

Yup, been there, done that, got run over by the train.

I am so glad you are back!

Brian Miller said...

yeah, all too real...and we def dont see all the damage we leave in our wake at times...

welcome back ma'am

lime said...

those last two lines really strike me. how many don't consider what they leave in their wake? far too many i think.

Manicddaily said...

Dear Margaret--this is wonderful--having just spent time with mother, I become so conscious of all the things I didn't want to be or do (though I also know she is a wonderful person), and then lose sight of all of my own (many) foibles and obsessions. Thanks.

K.

Manicddaily said...

Dear Margaret--this is wonderful--having just spent time with mother, I become so conscious of all the things I didn't want to be or do (though I also know she is a wonderful person), and then lose sight of all of my own (many) foibles and obsessions. Thanks.

K.