Sunday, August 7, 2011

Magpie Tales #76, "The Duel"

Photo by Skip Hunt
The Duel

Like a ballet dancer
it once pirouetted,
spinning with confidence,
the west's swirling symphony
harnessed and tamed.

Like a church steeple
it offered life,
nourishing a body
and soul, silently promised
hope for the tomorrow.

Like the colt 45 and conestoga
it helped settle the west,
expanding dreams far from
the rivers Missouri and Red.

The red man's torment,
a shimmering illusion
of progress, punctured
upon the endless horizon.

Few reside upon a wall
rusting art admired,
reminding one of life sustained
or perhaps skeletal remains.

An old west duel.

Hope and Death
intertwined for eternity.

by Margaret Bednar, Art Happens 365, August 7, 2011

* * * * *

(8-16-2011) I have entered this in "dVerse Poets: Open Link Night"  My apologies to those who might have already read this... I'm almost done with getting two of my kids off to college... :)  Hope you enjoyed it.

This is for Magpie Tales # 76.  Tess Kincaid has been photographing images of old barns and such - she promises us many more of her own which she has entitled "Abandoned America" and I for one am looking forward to them.  Go to her blog "Life at Willow Manor" and enjoy!  August finds me swamped with back to school and end of summer activities, but I couldn't resist this photo prompt.  I got up extra early this Sunday morning to give it a try.  I am trying EXTRA hard to not spell everything out in my poetry and find more picturesque ways of saying things - not just spelling them out, like I usually do.  There is no rhyming here, or any kind of rhythm.  I hope to find the time to tweak this and maybe have it flow a bit more... but I wanted to squeeze this under the wire for now.

As always, comments AND critiques are always welcomed.  I know that using "Like" is supposedly juvenile, but I thought it worked well here.  What do you think - is it creative or annoying? :)

18 comments:

Matteo Taffuri said...

I like your "LIKE"!
I think that it is creative.
"An old west duel of sorts,
Hope and Death
intertwined for eternity"
Wonderful!!!
Ciao
Matteo

vivinfrance said...

I love the way your poem is 'spilled out' rather than spelled out (my besetting sin. You took my mind with you to the old Western films (all I've seen of the 'real' America), and made them live.

Thak you for visiting my blog.

Jinksy said...

YOur last two lines reminded me of Kahlil Gibran "Every end is a new beginning."

Janie2 said...

Yes, every day is a new beginning, thanks for that reminder that Jinksy posted. Looking over your blog I am so connected to your style. STUNNING photos, thanks for sharing.

waysidewordgarden said...

Your poem gives me a feel of the old west. The comparison of the windmill to a ballet dancer is creative. I love the last line. Nice take on the prompt!

missing moments said...

A lovely poem and so descriptive! Are we ever really satisfied with our writing??? LOL!

Margaret said...

I am trying so hard to be more creative and not spell everything out...something I am always do.. Thank you all for your encouraging and complimentary words.

forgetmenot said...

Margaret, I've been away too long and missed too much. Your poems are fabulous! Such lovely language. I'm like you, I like to "put it all out on the table" too, but sometimes we need to let the reader "fill in" with his own thoughts. I think you are doing a wonderful job of conveying meaningful thoughts in a lovely way. Mickie :)

colleen said...

A cog in a cowboy wheel of steel and memory.

Victoria said...

Wonderful painting of the West. I live in cowboy country and feel the pain of what the Native Americans must have felt. The "rusting" is so prevalent here. Well done.

Mark Kerstetter said...

Who says using "like" is juvenile? What a silly notion. I think the 'like' stanzas work really well; in fact I like them most about this poem.

Pat Hatt said...

Wonderful write and yeah one should feel free to use whatever words they like. Like umm like..haha

Sheila Moore said...

I think you did a nice job with this - I love all of the examples of hope and death - a dueling act indeed they are!

Heaven said...

Like these lines best:

Hope and Death
intertwined for eternity.

Nice to meet you at D'verse ~

Jannie Funster said...

Shimmering illusion of progress is something I have often thought but never been able to pen as aptly as you have here, Dear Margaret.

Wonderful journey through the wild days that brought us all here.

xo

kez said...

great write ...thanks for sharing

Kavita said...

Sweeet.. this seemed like a tribute to the golden old... and you've written it very beautifully too..
your words here seem perfect for the image!!

C Rose said...

Really clever play in this piece, enjoyed it ~ Rose