Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Magpie Tale #42, Tarnished Triumph


Magpie Tale #42.  Please click HERE to see other entries in this weeks challenge.

This is my second attempt at an Acrostic Poem (1st letter of each line reflects the title.)  I also kept each line to 10 syllables.  


I published this poem in late November 2010.  As a trophy is a symbol, I decided to submit if for Poetry Potluck (January 2011- theme Languages, Signs & Symbols) and I think the readership list is different so I hope most of you haven't already read this.  

Tarnished Triumph

Triumphantly I raised the loving cup
Accepted this symbol of victory.
Regard high, favor gained, envied by all.
Nagging inside my head, "Undeserving"
Ignored.  Arms wrapped around the spoils of war.

Success clearly etched upon the silver
Honoring the evidence of greatness.
Engraved forever for all man to see.
Deceit hidden, but engraved on my heart.

Tarnished now, this burdensome laurel wreath
Resting upon the mantle, mocking me.
It's victory long dulled, legacy shamed
Undetected no longer, truth exposed.
My own inherent value prized by none
Perhaps, but me.  Inside, a soul polished.
Honesty has finally set me free.


by Margaret Bednar

22 comments:

faith said...

Wow! Wonderful job. I love this - Ignored. Arms wrapped around the spoils of war.

gautami tripathy said...

Good one!

shifting with the winds

Berowne said...

"My own inherent value prized by none, perhaps, but me."
Ah, yes. I've known that feeling. :-)

Helen said...

You chose the perfect title for this tale of guilt ... and ultimate honesty.

Coloring Outside the Lines said...

Nice mag- tarnished treasure hiding a dark secret. Love the acrostic!

Mary said...

I really like this. Well done.

justine said...

well done, great words

Jingle said...

thoughtful and beautiful tale..
you have an acrostic hidden in your poem, how divine..

My Magpie

has some awards/treats in it, have fun and enjoy the blog love.


Happy Thanksgiving.

Tumblewords: said...

Nicely crafted - the final line is wonderful!

Patty Ann said...

I love this one. It is so true. Thanks for sharing. It made me think and reminded me to pay more attention to the things that matter most in my life.

rachel.rach.rae said...

wow! so great. the whole thought process of poems isn't easy. well done :)

Margaret Bednar said...

I'm glad you all liked it - I mulled over a number of themes. I just always feel that a better word, expression, is around the corner and I just don't quite have it right... Poetry does stretch the brain, I'd say.

Ginnie said...

I'm really impressed, Margaret. I'm not familiar with that term, 'acrostic poem,' but it sure makes sense. The poem itself intrigues me...as though you received an honor dishonestly? Are you free to tell us more?

Margaret Bednar said...

Ginnie - This wasn't based on anything personal (thank goodness, right?) But I was thinking how many people do cheat and do get "awards" and we find out later they were "tainted" one way or another. And I wondered, how much guilt follows them, and are they relieved, in a way, when the truth is out? Quite an honor that you were impressed! Thank you. And the pumpkin pie "pile up" really was a hoot. My three year old was really making noises and having a blast in the kitchen and I thought it best to check it out.... Such a little stinker - but then he gives the BEST hugs when he thinks he is in trouble - and it does take the edge off of my anger, that's for sure! LOL

Pat transplanted to MN said...

Wow, "my own inherent value prized by none, perhaps me..." That would be quite enough! I am glad you included what an acrostic is else I'd have had to look that up. I think you did it nicely...

Margaret Bednar said...

Thank you Pat. And I am still giggling over your First Communion story. My two daughters receive 1st confession (no, it is called reconciliation now) and the preparation is so different now - the church here has done a great job. I remember how terrified I was... Now there's a story. LOL Thank you for enjoying my poem.

kathew said...

Well done! Truth always wins out!

fiveloaf said...

lovely and nice.. thank you for sharing! here's my potluck.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/06/19/my-whole-world/

Jingle said...

cute..

A+

marit said...

Nice. The break after the first stanza confused me, however - because I read TARNI and SHED as two separate words and was confused. I would put those first two stanzas together. but maybe that's just me :)

my potluck contribution:

http://maritsfuckingblogging.blogspot.com/2011/01/love-pulls-darkness-near.html

Margaret Bednar said...

Fiveloaf, Jingle & Marit - Thank you. I probably should put the word together, thanks.

mysticmarleei said...

Great job! You are a true story teller especially considering the boundaries you set.

Here's my potluck entry:
http://mysticmarleei.wordpress.com/2011/01/18/melody-harmony-rhythm/