Longing
Beyond the lonely light of the moon
I witness all that is quiet,
and my fingers,
familiar with beaded bone,
wish this was my ordinary,
this temporary oasis before stretch of day.
Wish I could join the dance,
let moon become my friend again,
for a glimpse at water's edge,
of blessings,
of beautiful melodies,
all without a hint of subterfuge,
where newfound desire to shine
would be appreciated,
gifting me with freedom, with life;
for service, not idolatry.
Yet, of the sweet, stubborn, and selfish,
some things never change.
by Margaret Bednar, December 1, 2022
This is written for the challenge over at: dVerse MTB (meeting the bar): In my end is my beginning. Take ending lines of your most recent poetry (at least 12) and create a new poem. Lines must remain intact, but can be placed in any order, may add preposition, conjunction, and change tense. Enjambment is allowed.
I looked at about 30 of my most recent poems and selected ending lines from 16.
THIS WAS NOT EASY! (beaded bone = rosary)
I feel the melancholy here and hope she finds the moon's light again.
ReplyDeleteNice one, a difficult construct, yet yours flowed so easily
ReplyDeletemuch💜love
Margaret you made this look easy as the stanzas blend so beautifully together - a delightful read
ReplyDeleteSeamlessly done, Margaret. Love that first stanza especially :-)
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing what you did with your last lines: the change of emotion with each stanza, And such a good ending. It all flows very naturally.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful flow and the ending is lovely.
ReplyDeleteA bit of a nostaglia and sadness but these lines are my favorites:
ReplyDeletegifting me with freedom, with life;
for service, not idolatry.
This is lovely, Margaret. Each stanza reads as a stand alone poem ~~ you used those last lines masterfully.
ReplyDeleteI like the depth of contemplation that does not feel heavy here, but floats within the imagery. So beautifully done!
ReplyDeleteOh my this is absolutely stunning, Margaret!! 😍😍
ReplyDeleteYou can't tell that this poem came from a collection of last lines - it all goes together so well.
ReplyDeleteThis flowed so well. It didn't seem like a compilation of last lines.
ReplyDeleteThe longing came through, a melancholy awarenes.
Very nicely done! Amazing how the lines seem to come together.
ReplyDeleteThis came together perfectly, and it looks much easier when it's done than it really is.
ReplyDeleteLines flow beautifully here, Margaret!
ReplyDelete